I can’t explain it. It’s just one of those things I can’t help. I do it without thinking. I could probably even do it in my sleep. It doesn’t matter if it’s a towel, a messy pile of laundry being sorted or a tidy pile of clean laundry being put away. I instinctively (downright compulsively) rub myself all over anything and everything fabric that ends up on the floor. My adoptive parents are at a crossroads about this behavior: mom giggles and dad scowls. I don’t necessarily find joy in their disagreement, but (like I said) it isn’t something I can control.
Except for today. Today, I overheard one of the most painfully sad conversations that made me pause. If I could speak human I would have audibly gasped. Dad asked mom what she was thinking about and that’s when she said it. “Do you ever regret marrying me?” My heart overpowered my head in that moment. I forgot all about all the clean clothes laying in their neat little piles all over the bed. I couldn’t believe my ears.
“What kind of a question is that?” Dad said.
“Well, do you or don’t you?” Mom said.
“I love you now as much as I did the day we were married,” dad said. “You are beautiful, inside and out.”
“Well said, dad!” I screamed at the top of my little doggie heart. They resumed folding laundry and I resumed my compulsive marking behavior with what I mistook for peace in my heart.
But after all the clothes were put away, I realized it wasn’t peace I felt at all. I can’t help but wonder what prompted mom to ask such a question in the first place. Certainly she doesn’t regret marrying my dad. I know they have experienced some extreme emotional ups and downs in their short five years of marriage, but I can see the purest of love in both of their eyes. And I generally don’t believe in having regrets. Everything happens for a reason, and no experience is without value if something is learned from it.
I’ll never know why mom’s head was in such a dark place today. Instead I will take a page from one of my favorite transcendentalist thinkers Henry David Thoreau and share with the world my opinion of the only way to view regret. “Make the most of your regrets,” Thoreau challenged, “never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh.”
I can’t explain it. It’s just one of those things I can’t help. I do it without thinking, just like my behavior with the clothes. Penny for my thoughts? I can’t stop myself from finding the silver lining. I suppose that’s a less embarrassing habit to have then my behavior with the clothes, but I digress.
Heavy, heavy, my friend.
Not EVER my intention to bring people down – only to bring them UP! So my deepest apologies my dear friend, if I brought you down. Not my intention. 🙂
There is an award for you in my latest post, check it out. Woof woof!
Wow! I saw that! How special! Thank you so much!
Tell Dad to give Mom extra hugs. Sometimes that’s all we need ~ a little extra love and affection. xo
I did as you said. I love hugs in the house, so I wasn’t opposed. 😉
It’s all about seeing that silver lining, buddy. For the humans and for us, in the ups and the downs, in the happy places and the dark places, seeing that silver shining through makes life good. …and rolling on the laundry doesn’t hurt either!
Love and licks,
Dear Cupcake, you should know I look forward to seeing your comments every day! You bring some silver lining into even my own dark days, so thank you for that and for being you. 🙂
Yes, I love Thoreau…From a woman’s point of view, and I’m a truly tender one at best, we want to be everything to our husband, we are too hard on ourselves and wear our own self out…The capacity and need to love is so much bigger and greater than ourselves…She loves you and your daddy more than she could ever express…One of the many benefits of having such a big, tender heart!!!! Hugs and love to you dear friend!!!!
Dear Trev, you absolutely make my day every time you comment like this. You are so wise yourself—I can take so much wisdom from your thoughts. I will pass along your commentary to my dad, as I feel my family might benefit from our doggie thoughts. 😉 Hugs and love to you to, my friend!!!
Typists love that she isn’t only the other person that asks these types of questions!
Agreed. She is not alone! 🙂
Wiley, you are one lucky dog in your people. Another silver lining is that your Mom had the courage to ask because for whatever reason she was worried or frightened or suffering the blues and needed her fear to be brought out and spoken aloud. You are lucky in your Dad – I could hear the bewilderment and his own shortened breath in being asked that question. He gave the best of all answers. You truly lucked out in your third times the charm forever after home. Keep sharing the love, Wiley. We need you. Best ~ HuntMode
There’s this thing I’m seeing more and more in the blogosphere….the more love I share, the more love comes back to me! It’s such a neat concept that pawing it forward somehow fuels the love I feel. And to feel needed is among a dog’s highest honors in life, so thank you for your thoughts and praise. Love, Wiles.
Ah, Wiley, is it possible that humans have learned something the dogs don’t know…? Whatever you focus on increases… Grin. Love, HuntMode, Claire & Elby
Interesting thought to be sure. And so I grin right back at you, Claire and Elby. Lots of love! 🙂
Reblogged this on Wiley's Wisdom and commented:
First, I thought of her. Then I thought to blog about her. Then my reblog referenced her by happenstance. Clearly things happen for a reason around here.
We all need reassuring at times. You’re not the only dog who likes to sneak on things he shouldn’t. Bert has taken to leaping across our bed when we’re not looking. Trouble is he leaves those little giveaway pawprints impressed on the eiderdown…