Wiley's Wisdom

Joy: From the Ground Up

The Right Questions February 14, 2014

It could be any number of things. A cell phone ringing. An unrelated conversation with someone else. A to-do list that would take longer to complete than there are hours in the day. As a professional observer of people, I am here to confirm there are so many things that distract us from things that really matter on a daily basis.

It wasn’t anything extraordinary for my forever people today. Dad had an especially trying day at that place called work. Mom struggled to console baby Carter through one of his most fussy days yet. But today I watched with love as they pushed both of these things aside. Today they celebrated Valentine’s Day. And in doing so they celebrated each other.

Love. From the ground up, I watched it unfold before my little doggie eyes as dad put together a surf and turf dinner for mom. I saw it in their eyes when they read the cards they got for each other. Yet there was something else, something more, that set the day apart. Something I realized could do a lot of people good.

Questions. Thoughtful directive emotional questions beyond the more common “how was your day” pleasantries. What have I done this past year that you’re most happy with, mom asked. What can I do to be a better husband, dad asked. And conversation abounded, regardless of the happenings of the prior eight hours. Distractions stepped aside in those precious moments and it was just them.

It was just two people falling in love with each other all over again. And it was beautiful. This is not to say they don’t love each other every day of the year. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. But today was different and I think it’s because they put aside everything else and asked the right questions.

You know the ones. They challenge us and build us up and make us think. They are capable of breathing fresh perspective into our relationships. These are the questions we should be asking each other frequently. It might not be as easy as an empty “how are you,” but I think that’s the point. Love, like the love being celebrated around the country today, should never be empty. It should never be distracted. It should be full and overwhelming to the point where no distraction is powerful enough to take away its attention to detail.

“Love is a force more formidable than any other,” suggests American author Barbara de Angelis. “It is invisible – it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could.”

Love offers you more joy than any material possession ever could. But you have to reach out and take it. At least from what I can tell, one way to do this is to ask the right questions. Like what is love? It’s powerful. It can transform you. Love is joy. Love is life.

I Love You

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!


22 Responses to “The Right Questions”

  1. Lyn Says:

    Wiley, how did you become so wise? It must be love I think. Every day between 1:00-3:00pm my time I check my emails for a notification that you have written a new blog post. It’s one of the little things that make my day xx

    • Dear Lyn,
      I think you have mentioned this before about waiting for my words to come to you…and I have to say – it warms my heart and brings joy to my soul. I’m so happy to be a little thing that brings light to your day. It’s an honor.
      Lots of love,

  2. […] The Right Questions | Wiley’s Wisdom […]

  3. Those eyes, I’m putty! Would you like another treat??? This is so lovely on this love day! 🙂

  4. Sandy Says:

    Asking the right questions and actually listening to the answers are so important. Thanks for a good reminder – and happy Valentine’s Day to you too!

  5. Mich-in-French Says:

    Sounds like the best kind of love is flowing through your household xoxo

  6. utesmile Says:

    I love to read this, times and times again, this is the way a loving relationship should be, asking the right questions and keep more love coming through. Honest communicatin is the most important thing in a relationship and your mum and dad have got that. That makes me very happy! Giving you all three a big loving group hug!

    • You’re right, as always friend. Honest communication starts with asking the right questions. The right questions lead to stronger relationships. It’s not always easy asking the tough questions (especially when the answers are even tougher) but that’s what makes us stronger.
      Lots of love to you,

  7. Basil Says:

    Your very lucky that you got to witness that! I hope they got you gifts too?!

    • They came a day later, but yes indeed I got a new collar and some special doggie treats. I’m trying to pace myself with the doggie treats though – I have to watch my figure. 😉

  8. Reblogged this on Wiley's Wisdom and commented:

    “Love is a force more formidable than any other,” suggests American author Barbara de Angelis. “It is invisible – it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could.”

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