Wiley's Wisdom

Joy: From the Ground Up

Stupid Is As Stupid Does February 25, 2014

I used to think it was pretty cool to be a know-it-all. Worse than that, I thought I did know it all. That is, until I realized I didn’t. The older I get, the more I realize how much there really is to learn. In reality, I know nothing in the greater context of everything.

This came to mind tonight as the story I was going to share shaped into something completely different. The evening started off better than most, with lots of laughter and love. Mom and dad enjoyed dinner together, after which dad showed an above average interest in spending time with baby Carter. He rocked him and talked to him and played with him. Meanwhile, Carter cooed and smiled and seemed to be having the time of his life while mom and I sat by and watched the scene unfold. It was like something from a movie.

Us Against The WorldUntil it wasn’t. None of us will ever know why it happened, but Carter started crying. Mom and dad ran through all the usual suspects – he’s not hungry because he just ate, he’s not wet because we just changed him, he doesn’t have a fever and all four limbs are still well attached. So what could possibly be wrong? It was kind of a devastating turn for the worse but I was still kind of surprised by what happened next. (Especially when you consider the truth – this is normal baby behavior. Every now and then they cry. It happens. We’ve been over this).

Tension built and they turned on each other. Mom and dad got upset. With each other. Even though I know (and they know) it was completely unnecessary for them to do so. In reality, they were simply sharing in frustration and confusion and exhaustion and it all just caught up with them. But I realized something. Dad said something he’s said more than once before about not being good with babies. About not knowing what he’s doing. To which mom responded that she doesn’t know what she’s doing either.

I’m hardly a know-it-all, but in this situation all I wanted to do was raise my little doggie paw to correct them both. They may not know everything about parenting a newborn. But they’re doing great. It’s okay not to know what you’re doing sometimes. It’s okay to learn as you go. And (perhaps most importantly) it’s a blessing that they have each other to learn with. They can work through challenges together and celebrate success together. They can learn together. And they have.

They did it again tonight when they brought the argument to a quick and (fairly) painless close. Because it’s not always about knowing it all.  Sometimes the smartest thing you can do is admit you don’t know everything.

 

19 Responses to “Stupid Is As Stupid Does”

  1. kiwiskan Says:

    When I had my first baby I knew LESS than nothing. Luckily babies are extremely resilient….

  2. utesmile Says:

    Wiles how right you are. When a baby is born, it does not come with instructions. Your mum and dad go through all these emotions as every other new parent. I used to doubt myself too as I didn’t know how to handle or talk to babies. In the end we do learn we do our very best and I am totally certain your mum and dad do and that is the right thing. They are the best parents for Carter because thye love him. The most important ingredient is love and there is lots in your house, so nothing can go wrong! Please do let them know that I think that they are doing a swell job and don’t I know it is not easy!

    • Doubt is indeed a dangerous game – I prefer to steer clear of such things, but my people need all the reassurance they can get their hands on these days. Fortunately you’re right about the love – it is the secret ingredient to a recipe for success in my book anyway!
      Lots of love,
      Wiles

  3. Sandy Says:

    Glad everything turned out alright – I can’t even imagine what it is like being that exhausted and being on guard for everything and anything. But you are right – Mom and Dad are doing fine. You may have to boop them with your nose sometime to remind them that all is just fine : )

    • I do often boop them with my nose these days. I’ve gotten even better at helping them know whether I want a treat or I really need to go outside too. All paws on deck, as they say. 😉

  4. So wise. Learn as you go is the perfect strategy for parents. There are a million parenting books in a million bookstores, but in your own house with your own baby (or doggie) you learn as you go. We all do.

    Love and licks,
    Cupcake

  5. fredrieka Says:

    we learn as we go in this life Wiley..

  6. Maybe the knowledge of parents grows together with a baby?

  7. Lyn Says:

    There is nothing more upsetting when a baby cries for seemingly nothing. They’re not wet/dirty, not hungry, not cold, not hot, not hurt, not anything. Well, it has to be something else why would they be crying? They can’t say, “Hey Mom, Dad, I’m crying because…” Crying is mostly how they communicate. It’s just a pity we can’t understand baby talk. They’re doing a great job Wiles, you just have to convince them of that.

    • I do so often wish I could understand baby talk! Though I will admit, I think I’m getting better at telling whether he’s crying because he’s hungry, hurt (he often scratches his face without understanding the consequences), or wet. Well, I cheat on the last one because of my excellent sniffer. 😉
      Lots of love,
      Wiles

  8. huntmode Says:

    Wyles, raise that dog paw high and hit ’em in the forehead like the V8 commercial – ask Mom to explain if this doesn’t ring a bell. Nothing pierces the nerves more than a baby’s cry – it’s meant to – Nature designed it that way and it’s awful. It is designed to get your attention no matter what is going on and by golly, it is highly successful, so much so that even when all is well and that baby will NOT stop crying, it can send the someone around the bend. It isn’t skill or know how, or talent, it is endurance – who can tough it out the longest – it is designed to wring your heart dry. The most amazing thing is even in full retreat, we turn around and do it again and again and again. Because that is how we are designed. Give your Mom and Dad and that little bug a hug from all of us. The HuntMode Team.

    • I love these words, dear friend. My mom was kind enough to explain your V8 commercial reference. As there are no dogs in it, I didn’t recognize your reference at first mention, but I get it now. And I certainly do my fair share of reminding them of things as much as I can these days. I stopped freaking out when the baby cries – it doesn’t do any good for me to add to the chaos. Instead I stay patient and frequently find a cuddling opportunity that tends to cheer both myself and my dear mom and dad up. These are the moments that we will remember – not the crying.
      Lots of love to the HuntMode Team!
      Wyles

  9. Reblogged this on Wiley's Wisdom and commented:

    It’s not always about knowing it all.


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