Apparently it’s one of those things parents say to each other. Like the never ending piece of advice stuck on repeat in the CD player. And while I’m usually all for taking in and putting to practice any piece of advice or wisdom, this has (of late) been one of my least favorite tracks. You just wait.
When my forever mom was up all night because baby Carter was beat boxing on her ribs, people told her. You just wait. After he was born and he was sleeping in teeny tiny increments of time, people told her. You just wait. Even now, when he’s starting to interact with the world in both smiles and experimental cries, people tell her. You just wait.
And I will tell you. Each and every time someone says this, I watch as she visibly tenses up and I know better than anyone else what she’s thinking. YOU just wait. Because here’s the thing about unsolicited advice and wisdom. It’s great when it means something positive. And it’s even all right when it means something negative, as long as it’s delivered in the right way. But even when you’re a boy dog who will never in a million years understand the mystery of birth, I can hear it.
There is something grating about hearing someone imply things will get worse before they will get better. It doesn’t matter if its family life, work life, personal life, or whatever sort of life path you’re on – it just plain sucks to hear even the slightest implication of things being worse on the horizon.
That is, until you live it. I know it grated on my mom’s nerves when people told her to “just wait” for what sleep would be like after the baby was born. I know it the same as I know things will only be getting more complicated from here as Carter figures out his emotions. Happy and sad. Love and hate. Chaos and peace. You just wait.
It’s a track that has been stuck on repeat far too long around here. And yet I know its one we need to hear. Not necessarily as its intended from its various unsolicited advisors. Because tone has no place in true wisdom. Instead I would rather cherish the good things that come to those who “just wait.” I cherish the first full night’s sleep my people have had in a while. And these first smiles that are happening on purpose. And that look of recognition when mom and dad talk and he seems calmed by their voices.
As one who has just waited, I can definitely confirm a certain and undeniable truth. It’s always worth the wait.
Snatching the positive out of the negative bog – GOOD ON YOU, WYLES! Just you wait, dawg – it gets better and better and even MORE better (bettah)! xxoo HuntMode
Good on you. It is worth the wait. Loved my kids as teenagers (even if they did turn my hair grey)
You’re funny about the grey hair. These things happen I suppose, but the real beauty remains to tell the tale.
Lots of love,
You just wait Wiley….. I had that often with my firstborn too and you know some things I was waiting for never happened. Positive or negative it depends how you look at it and if you are a positive person like me and a positive thinking dog like you, there are no worries we wait for the next miracle and it will happen. Great to hear Carter slept through, super…
More miracles to come Wiles, watch out, the day is full of potential! Enjoy!
I love your mention of positive thinking here, dear friend. Of course you are a positive thinker, as we have that in common, and your words are greatly appreciated. Miracles have a way of working themselves out….
Lots of love,
I will also say: “You just wait”. Wait for the FUN of hearing you little boy say “Hi mom” for the first time, or use some slang or “in” expression for the first time. Wait til he’s a teenager and fills you life with interesting and funny views of the world. As wonderful as these first years are, things just keep getting better and better as kids grow up. I envy the years ahead for you. My daughter is now 36 and I so miss her as kid from 3 to 23. Have a ball!
Oh my goodness. I shared your words with my mom and she teared up. Thank you for your words and your love,
What a good way for you to turn that “just you wait’ into ‘worth the wait. I would hope that people could be positive and keep the negative thinking to themselves unless asked. Yeah, babies cry and do all sorts of messy stuff, but they also do things that amaze and bring joy. It sure seems like that is what young Carter is doing right now!
I am with you, Sandy! If you don’t have something nice to say, then say nothing at all. That’s my motto. 😉