Wiley's Wisdom

Joy: From the Ground Up

A Sea of Gray March 13, 2014

Apparently it’s normal. But I’m not going to lie, it is kind of freaking me out. I haven’t seen mom cry this much (this randomly) since the last time we watched Marley and Me. Which, coincidentally was today. (Probably not the best idea, given her tender emotional state).

I’m just glad it doesn’t seem to involve me. Or at least it didn’t, until I involved myself. She was crying tonight (for what seems like the millionth time in the last 48 hours) as she rocked baby Carter to sleep because it’s the last time she will do so on a weeknight before she’s working again. It seems a silly reason to me, since it will clearly not be the last time she rocks my dear little person to sleep. But its all going to be different now, she told dad. This Too Shall Pass

It has definitely become one of those lose-lose situations for dad and I, since neither of us can seem to say or do anything to help. So he did what he does best and gave her a hug and a kiss on the forehead and told her we have a lifetime of nights like this ahead of us. Which made her cry more. So I did what I do best and shoved my way into the love fest. Which made her cry more. You see? Lose-lose situation.

But as I thought more about it, it’s not so much the situation itself that seems to be causing these emotions. It’s the thought of transition. The fear of the unknown. I know it all too well. As a family we have been in flux for some time now waiting for the baby to arrive and living through the first precious months, and now moving on with life involves a different kind of change. Transition. From the ground up, it can be a pretty scary thing.

It reminds me a bit of the situation in our backyard right now. As much as I love snow, I cannot stand what it looks like in transition. It’s sloppy and goopy and (worst of all) an awful dreary mixture of gray and brown. A sea of gray. Not to mention the stuff underneath that apparently used to be grass. Now it just looks like mushy brown death.

Just as this is a normal occurrence, apparently this emotional struggle mom is encountering is also fairly common. But here’s the important thing. Eventually all of the gray snow melts away. The grass doesn’t stay brown and sloppy forever. In just a few weeks time, it will be vibrant and beautiful again. My backyard paradise will be restored. The same can be said for this time we are in right now – it’s messy and emotional and that’s okay. Because I know in my heart these fears will be brought to purpose and the sun will shine again.



18 Responses to “A Sea of Gray”

  1. likeitiz Says:

    Aww! You are such a great comfort, Wiley. Yes, I can relate. When I had to go back to work after my maternity leave was over, i was sad too. But coming home everyday to see her was such joy. I also started to enjoy the adult world of work too. So in the end, there is a balance.

    • You’re right about that – I know dear baby Carter will fill her heart with joy when she returns home after work. He will be so happy to see her, it will all be worth it.

  2. kiwiskan Says:

    wishing you lots of sunshine – both outside and in your hearts

  3. utesmile Says:

    It is hard to go back to work, that is early though. As you say the grass will get greeneer again and everything will be alright. These are emotional times Wiles… that is how it is with us humans. Al the best for your mum! BIg hugs Ute x

    • It is early indeed. From what I hear, maternity leave lasts a lot longer in other places (like where you are perhaps?). That would be so nice…mom thinks its darned sad that now, just as baby Carter is starting to react and interact and smile when he sees her, NOW is the time she needs to leave him to return to that place called work. It’s not fair. But we carry on, and this too shall pass. That’s what I’m here for, after all. 🙂
      Lots of love,

  4. angloswiss Says:

    I don’t know the system in the States, but in Switzerland I worked for a couple of years at a children’s care center where we looked after the kids for the working mothers. we had them from baby (like Carter) until Kindergarten age. I worked through lunch time when the others went home (I was actually cooking for everyone) and looked after the babies, changing their diapers and generally making sure everything stayed OK. the other children were having their midday sleep. One thing was certain, the kids knew the different between home and care center. I can imagine your mum’s feelings, but children are very adaptable and I am sure baby Carter will find his routine quickly.I am basically an office worker, like your mum, but did this work because I could take my 4 year old with me.

    • I love that idea of working in a place where you could still be with your children! That sounds like the perfect solution, which I am so happy worked so well for you. I wish things could go that way for my mum too…maybe something will work itself out. Until then, I can do my best to bring joy to an otherwise sad mum. 🙂
      Lots of love to you and the felines,

  5. huntmode Says:

    Wyles, get your nose in your Mom’s face and give her a kiss from us. It is SO hard. Even when it is a good thing, transitioning is difficult for us. Every squelched fear rises to the top and has to be beat down again and again. For thousands of years, Moms have had to work, some in the fields gave birth and had to keep on keeping on. Nature has us covered on this. Doesn’t make it on tiny bit better, but it is a fact. Go on, Wyles, knudge her with your wettest nose and give a sweeping lick and kiss from the HuntMode team. And, your Dad, too! And, Carter, too. Now, your turn for a love fest, Wyles, you great dawg you!

    • I love all things you said. Hugs and kisses and transitions and fears rising into better things….it all sounds just fine by me. I will go on, armed with my wet nose, and make things as good as I can. 🙂
      Lots of love,

  6. I will send you some sun, so you can enjoy your back yard together with Carter :o)

  7. Nikitaland Says:

    Hi Wiley! Give your Mommy (and Daddy too) a big hug & kiss from all of us. We know that they will like that a lot! This has to be hard on your Mommy to head back to work, but like you said, it is a transition into better things. Make every moment special when you are together. Love from the ground up!

  8. So true, W. It’ll all settle down and your mom will settle in. Change is good. Just keep squeezing your little doggie self into the love fest and everybody will feel better before you know it.

    Love and licks,

    • I can’t say I agree with you that all change is good, dear Cupcake. But I do think you’re right about the affect us little canines can have on the joy of snuggles. Thank goodness for that. 😉
      Lots of love,

  9. Sandy Says:

    Wiley – didn’t you tell us that your Mom is quite smart and accomplished? Maybe she can think of going back to work as a way to make use of her talents + earn $$ to take care of your family and buy treats for you and Carter? Some of my mom friends say that going to work is good as it gives them a break (like they can actually take time for lunch or an errand for themselves) and then they can look forward to getting home to their kids/family. Once they get used to it of course. I’m glad that you are all supporting Mom – it has got to be tough transitioning back to work when she wants to stay home and take care of Carter. I’m sure that everything will work out well though.

    • I do suppose you’re right about this changed way of thinking. I would certainly hate to see all that schooling go to waste – I may be a proud obedience school drop out, but mom was definitely better at school than me. Thank you for thinking of us and wishing mom well. Big day tomorrow!

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