Today I was confronted with a conundrum. Happiness is a living emotion, as a favorite author of mine Sarah Ban Breathnach would say. The optimist in me believes this as truth. Yet today I encountered another living emotion. Or six.
Sadness. Grief. Devastation. Complete and utter dismay. My arsenal of positivity was not strong enough to battle these things today. I failed and I’m not afraid to admit it. It has happened before, but I don’t think it’s ever been quite this bad. Maybe it’s because I can’t say I blame them.
Mom got bad news today. Really bad news. Epically bad news. That little slip on the ice about a month ago that the doctor hoped was just a sprain? Some test called an MRI showed otherwise. It’s a torn ACL. I don’t know much about these things other than that is what mom talked so much about with her other knee before surgery the last time.
And I was here. I saw how bad it was. Mom has (not-so-jokingly) said it was worse than recovery from labor. I don’t know what happened when they went to that hospital place three months ago, but I can’t imagine it was pretty. She was there for days, after all. The knee surgery was only an outpatient procedure. She was back home the same day. And she cried. All the time. I remember her crying out in pain in the middle of the night. It was bad. 
So the thought of it happening again has taken our whole home by complete shock. She will be completely immobile for at least a week or two. Fortunately the damage is nothing near as bad as it was in the other knee, but the doctor still estimates the recovery time as about the same as last time. How on Earth will she do the thing that matters most to her in the whole world right now? How will she take care of our little person?
These are among what I would call the big picture questions my people were asking themselves tonight. That, and a question that broke my little doggie heart. How will we ever get ahead, dad asked to no one in particular. Mom cried at the thought. It’s like I’m on a hamster wheel, she said. Every time I think I’ll break free, something holds me back and I keep spinning in useless circles. I might not care much for hamsters (as it’s in my nature as a terrier not to), but the concept of their wheel is one that has always made me a little sad.
Today sadness was the emotion living in our house. Try as I might, I realized there are some things even my best tricks can’t fix. This is a pretty awful situation. These things happen. But life goes on. If I had a message for my beloved forever people on this day of days, that would be it. Life goes on. This too shall pass. It sucks. I won’t say it doesn’t. But life will keep plodding on, and I will be here to remind them of that each and every day.
Wiley's Wisdom 
Well, I’m not going to click the like button 😦 There’s nothing to like about this situation – except that Wiley loves his forever family with a passion. I’ll be praying for a swift and permanent recovery xxxx
P/S sorry I haven’t been around, Wiles, I had a very bad reaction to the flu shot (for the first time ever) and ended up in hospital. Almost back to normal – apart from having no energy and sleeping most of the time.
I read your post. I am so sorry to hear you had a bad reaction to the flu shot and ended up in the hospital So glad to see you back and posting. xxoo HuntMode
Thanks Huntmode, it’s so good to be finally getting on top of the flu. Can’t wait to be back to regular reading and posting 🙂
Lyn!!!!! Please no apologizing for being away for such things! I was (indeed!) worried, but I knew you would return and hoped all was well. It is so scary to think of you being in the hospital as you mean so much to us. I’m glad to hear everything is okay now. And I’m not going to lie – it’s good to have you back. Please take care!
Lots of love,
Wiles
Thank you dear Wiles, your words warm my heart xxx
Same goes for you, dear friend!
I’m sorry. I hope the reconstruction goes well.
That makes two of us. Thanks for sending love.
Wiles
I’m so sorry to hear about this, Wiley. I hope she’ll be better soon. Hugs!
Thank you for caring, dear friend!
Darling Wyles, “Life goes on. This too shall pass. It sucks. I won’t say it doesn’t. But life will keep plodding on, and I will be here to remind them of that each and every day.”
You will do more than that, Wyles. You will remind them the sun will come out again, summer will come, there will be time spent outside when they can wear sleeveless shirts and shorts – even if it it is just sitting, instead of running, for your Mom. As to getting ahead – the burden of never-ending bills, this is living. As hard as it is, there will be years of success ahead for your parents. Everything happens for a reason even when, or especially when, we can’t see it – but it is always for our highest good. THIS TIME, it was caught EARLY – that’s good news – your Mom didn’t have time to do real damage to her knee, like the last time. Yes, it is going to be inconvenient, maybe even job threatening, as your Mom just started the new job. She does get her wish to stay home with you and baby Carter. Not as she expected, but she did get her wish and prayer answered. All is well, Wyles. Just keep wagging it. xxoo HuntMode
This is living. You’re so very right, dear friend. We can’t control these things – there is a much bigger power in charge. What a blessed reminder, again, that this is much sooner news than the first time. I know mom didn’t take much solace from the doctor, who was very (very!) cautious telling her this time would be easier. But I keep hearing her say it can’t possibly be as bad as last time. She’s almost chanting it, as a means to convince herself. I will indeed follow your advice, friend. Just keep wagging, just keep wagging….
Lots of love,
Wyles
That was quite devastating news – I’m so sorry. I am hoping that this surgery results in less pain and a quicker recovery time than the first one. Wiley – I hope that your momn’s family and friends can help out with Carter, meals, whatever while your mom recuperates. Based on what you wrote, it sounds like Mom can still hold and comfort Carter so that’s something positive. Hang in there – and Wiley, I know your presence will help plus you have all of us out here rooting for your Mom.
Dear Sandy,
You should know I shared your words with my mom…she has been a teeny bit emotional lately, so I should preface this with that information. But alas, your words made her cry. Happy tears. Blessed tears. Thank you for caring and sending your love.
Lots of love right back to you,
Wiles
I am sorry to hear the bad news, and will be praying for your mum that all goes well and the recovery is quick! Yes life goes on and when we think we are not coping and are not strong enough, we will see that we are! Wishing mum all the best from my heart. Wiles keep wagging your tail and spread your love, it is so needed! Big hugs from Ute xx
Consider the tail a’wagging! 🙂 Thank you also for your kind words. They touch my mom’s heart.
Lots of love,
Wiles
Oh that’s so bad for your mom. I hope all goes well and she is well soon. I agree with you, sometimes it is like a hamster wheel, always when we climb on the mountain of life we slide down shortly before we are on the top. Please give your mom a hug from me, Wiley.
I passed along your hug, dear brother. It was well received.
This is indeed very bad news for your mom and your family, Wiley, and all of us at Casa de Canterbury are distressed to hear of this development. Health problems are never fun or easy, but they are especially difficult when complicated with a new baby. We all know you will do your best to offer her comfort and good cheer during her ordeal, but be kind and sweet as only you can be every day, okay? 🙂
But by being there you will have helped pal!!
Aw. Thanks for the reminder, friend. I need those sometimes too. 🙂
They are lucky they have you!!
Aw, thanks friend!