Wiley's Wisdom

Joy: From the Ground Up

The Truth About Happiness May 14, 2014

There’s this problem I have with loneliness. It’s one thing when its you feel lonely. It’s something very different when it’s someone you love. I am struggling with something I didn’t know whether I should share. But she said I could, so I’m just going to say it.

Love.My mom’s dear friend Dorian has a problem. She loves. A lot. And that is not a problem as far as I’m concerned – far from it, in fact. But currently she is wrapping her heart around my dear little person Carter, and his new little buddy Noah. She loves them so much she could bite their little baby cheeks off. (Apparently this is a sign of love I don’t understand. I don’t ask questions.)

But it also makes her sad sometimes. Like tonight, when she came over to help mom make a lasagna for baby Noah’s mom. It was a happy time with a happy mission. But she was a little sad. I could see it. Mom could see it. And it bothered us both. Because if I’m being honest we don’t even have to ask what’s wrong. We just know because we love her so. (And maybe a little bit because she’s told us.)

She’s lonely. She wants what her two dear friends have. She wants a husband. And a baby (or three). And it makes her sad sometimes that she is single. She doesn’t have a boyfriend (at least at the moment), let alone a husband. This is not for lack of searching, believe you me. She is always on that thing called a (not-so) Smartphone talking with potential boyfriends on the Internet while she’s here. I can’t say I blame her. There are a lot of potential good things out there on this thing called the Internet.

But I have a theory about loneliness. And happiness. And most things emotional. Sometimes the harder you work at something natural, the harder it becomes to figure out. From the ground up, I am a believer in the power of not searching for these things. Because I think sometimes the harder we search, the harder things get to find. People call it trying too hard. I’m not sure you can ever really “try too hard,” but I do think there are adverse consequences when you do. Sometimes it’s a better strategy to stop looking. To stop trying. Because sometimes, I think that is when all things good make their way to you.


5 Responses to “The Truth About Happiness”

  1. alesiablogs Says:

    lovely post. So true.

  2. Lyn Says:

    Wise words once again, Wiley xx

  3. utesmile Says:

    I agree with you Wiles, sometimes we look too hard and then we might not see the opportunity which comes along. Wiles, tell your friend that one day it will be happening. I am an example, I was on and off looking and dating for 4 years and in the end just took it right easy, just had fun and I have found my dream man… I am in love and still can’t believe that I met this wonderful man who is perfect for me and loves me too. There is always hope. Don’t give up but don’t get too stuck into it either.
    Wiles I still love you too! 🙂 ♥

  4. Lucky Dorian can share Carter and Noah sometimes. But you’re right, W. When she feels comfortable in her own skin good things will happen in their own time. Mom has a similar friend, just out of a 6 year relationship and desperate to be with somebody new. Mom always tells her to relax and breathe and let herself heal. The best decisions are made from a place of contentment.

    Love and licks,

  5. Sandy Says:

    Dorian sounds like a very nice person – after all, she is a friend of yours. May I suggest that she take you out for a walk where she may run into people? Because I think you would attract attraction and friendly people and you never know if you may be the catalyst that brings two people together at just the right time. And even if magic doesn’t happen right away you will get alot of walks out of it : )

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