I feel a bit like I dropped the ball. Though I rarely do this when it’s an actual ball, it does occasionally happen figuratively. Like the time I snarled at Carter when he startled me. I regret that to this day.
It happened again, as I failed in my duty to alert my dear forever family of something going awry. Stench. From the ground up, it is radiating from the nursery. I noticed it a few days ago and I think that’s when I dropped the ball. Because yesterday, it hit my dear forever mom in the face like a ton of bricks when she opened the door.
Somewhere amid the beautiful (dog-themed) nursery there is a smell. It is strong. And it is mysterious. Hours were spent yesterday attempting to locate the smell, which is localized to the room where our dear new little person will soon call home. The timing is terrible.
Here we are in the midst of a time when the nesting is at full swing. From bottle sterilization (don’t ask me what that means) to the (albeit slow but sure) packing of the hospital bag, things are coming together in these final weeks. So having the nursery, the room the baby will call home, in a cloud of stink is quite troubling to all of us around here.
And I feel somehow responsible for not bringing it to everyone’s attention when I first caught wind of it. Therein lies the problem. I see it happen all the time with the people in my life and I always wish I could intervene somehow. And now it’s happened to me.
I find myself wanting to accept blame for something over which I have absolutely no control. I certainly didn’t cause the problem. Nor did I discover it that much sooner than my parents. So why does this happen?
The blame game is no game I want to participate in, even if I feel like I dropped the ball. So even if I may have failed in some way, I have decided not to let it get to me. The smell itself is doing enough damage around here, there is no need for self deprecation on top of things. Instead we wait. And I take solace in knowing love runs deep around here, and no unsolved mystery can eat away at that simple truth.