Wiley's Wisdom

Joy: From the Ground Up

On Stupid Friendship November 24, 2014

I thought it was a terribly stupid idea. I’ll be honest and come right out and say that. In doing so, I’ll stand by dad on what mom insisted was the wrong side of the fence. Because to us it was a no-brainer. Today we had the first significant snow event of the winter and I know the havoc that wreaks on people.

Not necessarily the people I love, but people in general completely forget how to drive for the first few snow storms each year. Accidents clutter the freeways, cars fill the ditches, and sirens seem to run almost as rigorously as the snow plows and salt trucks. Snowy Dreaming

That’s why tonight was not a good time for people to come over to my forever home. Obviously mom did not know when she planned an event she referred to as “Friends-giving” that mother nature herself would try to put a damper on an otherwise festive evening. Nonetheless, she could have called it off several times on account of the weather, as dad and I thought she should.

She suggested it, sure. A couple of times. But no one agreed to postpone a dinner they had looked forward to since it was finalized on the schedule several weeks ago. Friends-giving was on, snow or no snow. And as it turned out I may have been wrong on this one.

There was turkey and potatoes and vegetables and rolls and all kinds of other goodness (which means there were table scraps for me). There was love, which has its way of seeping through all the concern about the weather. And there was joy. From the ground up, Friends-giving brought joy to life tonight.

As the night drew to a close and a few of mom’s dearest and closest friends packed up to leave, I knew for sure I hadn’t misjudged the situation. It’s never easy for me to admit wrongdoing, but I have decided not to budge on this one. Because I know dad and I were right. It was dangerous what they did tonight, braving the storm to come together. Yet that’s exactly what they did. They came together. And it was worth it. Everyone traveled safely after sharing a delicious meal with great people.

“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them,” suggested transcendentalist thinker Ralph Waldo Emerson.

As we celebrate a holiday about pausing to count our blessings, I’ve paused tonight to count mine. What my dear mom (and her friends) did tonight was stupid, but I guess it’s okay to be stupid sometimes. Because they were in it together. And their hearts were in the right place. I suppose that’s what friendship is all about.


As The World Turns November 13, 2013

That didn’t take long. Maybe my people heard me somehow. Or maybe I heard myself. Either way, I have good news to report. I was in the wrong to have any doubt in my forever people not having room enough in their hearts for me and the new little person. I am again secure with my place in my forever home.

Less than a week ago, I acknowledged I was starting to get nervous about being replaced in the hearts of my forever people by my little person. I feared there wouldn’t be enough love to go around anymore. I let negativity into my heart. All because of a failed game of fetch.

Now I know how silly that was of me to feel that way. And it only took a car ride. It was dad’s idea to bring me along, and (as usual) I didn’t care where we were going. So you can imagine my increased level of enthusiasm when I heard we were going baby shopping. I was going baby shopping! I was being included in a trip to Babies ‘R Us, which mom now swears by as the destination for all things baby. I was definitely disappointed to find I could not actually go in when we got to the store (no doggies allowed), but I got over it right quick.Think with the Heart

It was only a car ride. But to me it was more. Because I was included. That’s what mattered. It wasn’t the car ride itself, but the feelings it evoked that turned my world around.

“People mistakenly assume that their thinking is done by their head,” proposed international spiritual leader Anthony de Mello, “it is actually done by the heart which first dictates the conclusion, then commands the head to provide the reasoning that will defend it.”

I don’t think my people miraculously heard my thoughts on being replaced. I think I heard myself. It doesn’t take much to slip into a negative way of thinking, but I found the silver lining. It doesn’t take much to bring us back to the sunny side of the street either. Because oftentimes it’s not what’s in our mind that matters. It’s what’s in our heart.