Obviously that’s not the case anymore after almost three months and I need to tell you what I am most surprised about. I had no idea how much I didn’t matter. Please don’t misunderstand – I don’t mean to sound anything other than honest in that I am honestly and sincerely playing second fiddle these days.
And – if I let it – it would bother me. But – because I don’t – it doesn’t. And it’s quite honestly liberating because I don’t. I don’t believe in taking the easy road in life, and that would be the easy road. Instead, I enjoy when visitors come to spend time with baby Carter. To awe over him. To find joy in his smiles. Because I believe in the power of joy being shared.
That is why I am putting aside my grief for joy when it comes to the primetime debut of my dear forever family I mentioned a couple of weeks ago. The photographers loved me when they were here. They filmed me jumping excitedly at the prospect of going for a walk or to the dog park. They enjoyed when I hopped on mom’s lap while she snuggled Carter. They even wanted to catch some film of me coming back from a jaunt outside.
But none of it made the cut. Mom stumbled upon the promo on television yesterday and I was nowhere to be found. Instead, there she was picking up dear baby Carter from the changing table and bringing him to breakfast with the family. At first I was petrified.
Then I realized it doesn’t matter what the outside world sees. I know where my heart was during those images. I was chilling out underneath the table where I might have been out of sight and out of mind. But I most certainly was not out of heart. Nor do I ever intend to be, even when live offers me the chance to play second fiddle.
Video to follow….