Wiley's Wisdom

Joy: From the Ground Up

Turn The Page July 20, 2014

For some people it’s a new job. For others its a major lifestyle change like swapping out alcohol or cigarettes for exercise. Or maybe it’s the end of a bad relationship or the start of a good one. Crossroads. From the ground up, we all come across them at different times and in different circumstances. Sometimes it’s expected. Sometimes not. Feeling reflective

For my mom and most of her family, it happened five years ago when her father died suddenly. Everyone in the family dealt with the loss differently, in good and bad ways. If the aftermath of the experience has taught me anything, its that there is no timeline on grief. Whether you lose someone suddenly or have enough warning to say goodbye properly, it doesn’t matter. It’s hard. And everyone copes differently.

I was reminded of this today when I overheard mom on the phone telling dad about her time at this place called the spa. It’s something her and her mom and sister do every year, and this year was not an exception. While the trip was abbreviated slightly this time around (due mostly to mom not wanting to be away from dear baby Carter for long), I could hear the rested enthusiasm in mom’s voice as she recalled the events of the day to my forever dad. (Meanwhile, it should be noted I am helping him care for Carter while mom is away).

I couldn’t hear the whole story, but I gathered the point of it from dad’s reaction. Someone (or possibly all of them) had some sort of revelation today at the spa. There they were, at the place they sought emotional refuge just days after the loss of 2009, and something happened. A weight was lifted off shoulders. A deep breath was taken. And a decision was made. It’s time to turn the page.

An original thought it certainly is not, as it pays homage to Bob Segar’s ballad (which I understand was a favorite of the man who would have been my grand forever father). But it was as if he were somehow there with them today, prompting them to turn the page, which itself looks different to each of these very important ladies in my life.

As I suppose it does to everyone, but ultimately the root of things is the same. Crossroads. From the ground up, we come to them from time to time for reasons good and bad. Like anything, it’s what we do next that matters. And I say we turn the page.

 

Making It Happen March 31, 2014

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. That Isaac Newton sure knew what he was talking about. Thanks in part to treats involved with training and learning tricks, I’ve become something of a connoisseur on the topic through my doggie life. To Making It Happen

Sit. Get a treat. Lie down. Get a treat. Do nothing at all but look really (really) cute. Get a treat. Well, the last one only works every now and then. But the point is it does work. To think my beloved people think they are the ones training me! That’s what I want them to think.

Meanwhile, I got to thinking of this action and reaction concept today as it was mom’s first day at her new place called work. And as I reflect upon how this change came to be I realized something pretty powerful. It’s easy to be reactive. But something pretty awful comes with that territory. I think when you are completely reactive to the world around you, it is easier to find yourself waiting. And waiting. And then the waiting can bring with it negative thoughts about waiting. Suddenly the waiting becomes an inevitable dance with destiny and the result often isn’t worth the wait.

The solution isn’t this waiting game. It isn’t waiting for something bad to happen. The solution is to be proactive instead of reactive. Make it happen. Make the good happen.

That’s what mom did when she decided to change jobs recently. She stopped waiting. Instead she did. She made it happen. It wasn’t easy. And the transition isn’t going to be easy. But I have a feeling about this change. I think it’s for the best. And I’m not just saying that because I think I will be seeing more of mom as a result. I’m saying that because I really want her to be happy. Sadly there are no treats I can give her to reinforce happiness. (Wouldn’t it be nice if there were?)

Instead I remember that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Because that Isaac Newton definitely hit the nail on the head with that one.