All I Could Do March 25, 2015

I think I would probably put it darned near close the very bottom of the emotional barrel. Somewhere close to negativity and rage. It’s just one of those personal things with which I, the dog who makes an effort to find the good in all people, places and things, struggle to find a silver lining. Helplessness. From the ground up, there is really no way to sugar coat the way helplessness breaks my heart.

Yet that’s how I have felt for going on three days now, as my dear forever mom does her very best to fight some sort of cold that won’t quit. .Not since Battle Bra Royale in her pregnancy with Carter have I seen her so miserable. And not since then, when (if I recall correctly) she was oddly enough also right about seven months pregnant, have I felt so incredibly helpless. 

At least I am in good company, especially with my dear forever dad who also struggles with the insatiable urge to fix it. (Carter is pretty oblivious, I think, though he has been somewhat more generous with the hugs he gives mom in recent days).

Helplessness. It shook my forever home today as dad ran to the store (twice) for something (anything) that mom can take that is deemed “safe” for pregnancy. Twice he came home with the wrong thing, causing mom to break down in tears. It really was a lose-lose situation for all of us today.

Until tonight, when I did all I can do. As she snuggled into bed much (much) earlier than usual, I snuggled my way as close to her as possible, laid my head on her protruding belly, and sighed heavily. She looked at me, with her puffy eyes and bright red nose and smiled a brighter smile than I’d seen from her all day. She snuggled me closer to her, and I laid there by her side until she fell asleep.

Helplessness. From the ground up, it’s one of those things I struggle with being the optimist I am. Not only is it hard on the helpless helper, but it implies someone or something in need of help isn’t getting what they need. That is, until you realize maybe you’re not as helpless as you think you are.

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A Wonderful World February 2, 2015

It’s going to sound pretty unbelievable given the circumstances. A lot has been going not quite right around my forever home recently, most recently involving my dear forever mom and dear baby Carter and their bout with some sort of flu bug.

My forever dad somehow is seeming to make it out unscathed, but my 21-week-pregnant mom and 13-month-old Carter are suffering. Coughing and sneezing, mixed with headaches that hurt in their heads and their tummies don’t make for a pretty picture around here. Mom’s attempt to soldier through has been relatively unsuccessful, resulting in health-related misery for all of us. It’s not fun for dad and I to watch. And I know it’s not fun for mom and Carter to experience. 

So when it happened late this afternoon, it was a breath of fresh (and unexpected) air. Carter was crying and coughing and mom was holding him with her eyes closed in pain from the headache that wouldn’t quit. This song came on that sounds the slightest bit like their song (Somewhere Over the Rainbow) and the crying stopped. The eyes opened. And they both saw the sunshine coming in through the window (which I coincidentally sunbathed in the majority of the day).

For those four minutes and twenty eight seconds, there was no pain or illness. There was only joy, as mom and Carter rocked together, Carter with his little head on mom’s shoulder, mom with her head on his.

It wasn’t a miracle cure by any means. The coughing and sneezing and headaches continued well after the song ended, and will likely continue beyond tonight. But it was a reminder of all that is good in the world. I could feel the love in the room as the song filled the space. There’s something about being sick that seems to make dear Carter cling to my mom like the monkey he is. And she doesn’t mind one bit.

I know it sounds pretty unbelievable given the circumstances. A lot has been going not quite right around here recently, and this flu bug is no exception. This too shall pass. And in the meantime, we remember the wonderful world that exists around us.