A Shower of Gold October 9, 2013

Sometimes I want it. Badly. Other times I’m overcome with relief that I never really have to worry about it. This thing called money offers me a variety of emotional responses. Lately I’ve been struggling with the realization that while I am blessed not to have to worry about it, it doesn’t go unnoticed. Instead my people worry about it. A lot.

Money, money money. It used to come up occasionally, but the frequency has increased lately as preparations continue for my new little person. And its never really a happy conversation. Not that there is arguing or fighting, but us canines have a sense for things like stress and tension.

It happened again today. I overheard them talking about it and I was overcome with longing. I wanted money. I wanted to buy them all the nice things for the little person they keep talking about like a travel system (whatever that is) and a mobile for the crib. I wanted to give them everything they think they want.

But that’s just it. Wants are not always needs. And needs are not always wants. It sure would be nice if I somehow had all kinds of money to spend on these things. But that’s all they are – things. Just things. Things don’t create happiness, no matter how necessary they seem. Moments of real joy begin in the heart, not the mind.

I was reminded of this tonight as mom and I took a quick walk around the neighborhood right as the sun was setting. It made for a beautiful scene, with the sun shining through the trees as the leaves fell peacefully along our path. And I realized in those precious moments there is this thing about beauty – its completely free. And (even better) it often buys happiness. And joy. And gratitude.

“Here we are sitting in a shower of gold,” observed Australian writer Christia Stead, “with nothing to hold up but a pitchfork.”

It seems I’ve gotten it all wrong. I don’t want money. I want my people’s worry to go away. I want them to see the beauty in all things like I do and feel the sense of emotional richness that brings. I want them to be happy. These wants are really needs in my book. So today I renew my vow to do my small part to highlight these things in our lives, starting with my people. Because I know my heart contains within it its very own shower of gold.

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Daily Prompt: You can’t always get what you want January 9, 2013

I had a rare and awful nightmare last night. I know people sometimes mistake doggie nightmares for dreams about chasing squirrels or playing with our favorite little people. Sadly that is not always the case.

I walked into a room, the door shut behind me, and there was nothing. It was darkness. There was nothing but blackness all around me, so I sniffed around and there was literally no water, no food, no toys, no people…and the worst part was not knowing how long I would be there. Fortunately for me (mom woke me up because I was yipping) the terror didn’t last very long. I was grateful that she put an end to the madness, but I am still thinking it over. I can say with honesty I think that scenario is among my greatest fears.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a firm believer in “The Single Woman” Mandy Hale’s thought that “sometimes God takes away everything you thought you wanted to bring you everything you ever dreamed of.” I now see it as a blessing to have experienced that in the years before my people brought me to my forever home.

After all, I was devastated when that family in Port Washington returned me to the humane society. Granted, I did not necessarily enjoy sharing a home with three other (much larger dogs) and those (pain in the neck) cats they had, but I definitely wasn’t alone in the dark room. I had company, food, and shelter, and I thought that I was finally living the high life. God knew better. He knew something was missing. Most importantly, he knew that sometimes what we want is so different than what we need.

I want my own doggie sized convertible so I can go on the flit whenever I please (I’m sure I’d find my way home, right?). I want to try chocolate (even though I hear it could kill me). I want to fly (and often try with no avail). Turns out the majority of things on my “want” list are not even good for me. Its almost like there is a reason I can’t have these things.

Little did I know that the same thing was missing from that home in Port Washington as the dark room of my nightmares: Love. To me, that is more important than my doggie Porsche, the chocolate that would kill me anyway, and the flying which is probably overrated. That is what I need.

It brings to life the words of historical heroine Hannah Sanesh, whose words also inspired today’s reading with Simple Abundance. “In my life’s chain of events nothing was accidental,” she said. “Everything happened according to an inner need.”

You can’t always get what you want, as the Rolling Stones put it,  but you get what you need.

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